Surrender

"God is calling us to surrender- a surrender that is so resolute, so final, that to lift our heads in defense or protest would seem ridiculous."- Stuck, Jennie Allen

 

While doing my study tonight, I read a section titled, "Little Crosses". It confronted me with a slap in the face so hard that my hands trembled as I clutched my mechanical pencil.

The following section was a list of places where freedom is found. One of which being, "releasing others' perceptions and understandings of me, and holding on to God's, since He knows my heart."
That is one of my main struggles (thus further reaffirming my heart that God put this study before me for a reason!)
Right or wrong, I have always deeply cared what people thought of me. I wish I didn't- but I do! So when I see my name being thrown around in wicked ways conducted by Satan- it makes me angry, sick to my stomach, anxious, sinful, and a whole mess of other emotions that are not God-honoring!
We don't physically carry crosses like Jesus did. Our crosses are our rights that we think we have.
The right to pursue happiness
The right to healthy babies
The right to be who you want to be
The right to hold a grudge when someone does you wrong

Right there. That's me! I have been metaphorically slapped in the face so many times by people I've loved- I have a hard time learning to let that go and truly forgive them!
But God says otherwise! He says to pick up your cross and follow Him!
How dare I ever think that I could just slide by suppressing my anger towards people and situations orchestrated by Satan himself!?

In yesterday's blog post I spoke of learning more and more about God and who He is.
Lessons learned today about God:
God really is bigger than any problem we are currently facing.
God cares enough to always be reaching out for us.
Through good times and bad times- God is still on his throne!

At the end of my life, it's not going to matter what a few people said about me in 2012- all that is going to matter to The Lord is how my heart was and if I truly love and trust Him enough to know that he holds me in the palm of his hand.