Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
I Peter 5:8-9
Nobody said this was easy. In fact, the Bible says in Romans 3, "There is no one righteous, not even one." and then skip down a little and it says, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement,[i] through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith."
I know that I am a sinner. God knows it. I also know that God can not look on sin so I am constantly praying and asking for his gracious forgiveness because what is the point of praying if your heart is not right with God and he won't hear you? (John 9:31) I have been praying diligently and desperately for the Lord to rid me of the sin and things that make me sin. I am exhausted from the fighting and I am so tired of feeling like I am dodging bullets. But.. I press on! Why? Because the Bible tells us to!
Today in church, we sang "Indescribable" by Chris Tomlin, and we sang out "You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same!". That is me and a half. I don't deserve this.. but He loves me so much that He is willing to always forgive me when I call out to him begging for his grace and forgiveness.
While flipping through My Utmost for His Highest yesterday, I came across an entry titled "Wrestling Before God". Here is a little excerpt that really moved me:
You must learn to wrestle against the things that hinder your communication with God
Today, while driving, I was dwelling on my situation with sin and what wrestling it really felt like for me. Then I started thinking of my husband always watching UFC fighting ((That I normally detest)) and I started to parallel my battle with sin with the battle that the Ultimate Fighter's experience. We are constantly making jabs and blows at each other. A few cuts and bruises on each of us. We each have a coach/trainer in our corner. But my coach is awesome. He sees me growing weary and He sits me down, dries the blood and sweat from my brow, gives me a drink of His living water, and then sends me back out to fight some more- eventually claiming victory over my enemy. He has my back.
Oh, how I love Him!
And oh how the enemy tries to convince us that we are the only Christian women dealing with sin in our lives. He is the father of all liars! Yet, through seasons of my life, I realize that I have bought in to them (the lies), yet again! And then commences the beating myself up (more lies), thinking I can do it on my own (more lies), I can't believe I am STILL dealing with this! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME! Thank you so much for the encouragement. You have no idea how much I needed this today.
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