Breaking Free

God is good.

There is so much on my heart that I want to share.. I just don't know where to begin! Perhaps I'll start with our Bible study. We're doing "Breaking Free'' by Beth Moore and we are in "week 1" of the study.. and let me be the first to tell you- wow!

This study was kind of spur of the moment (for us).. It went from a thought/wish expressed to one person and then BAM! "Next Thursday we'll start!".  I wanted to do "David" by Beth Moore.. but God had different plans.. and boy am I ever so grateful to Him! We have around 20 women in our study (which also is amazing!) But that is besides the point.. God has plans for me through this study. I have chains and demons that I need so much to "break free'' from and this is a great starting place.. and last night- I broke free of one of them!

All of my studies and lessons have been pointing me towards the right path- the path which Jesus made. I want to be like him. I need to be like him.  But how can I possibly be like him without surrendering all of my negative feelings towards those who have wronged me? I have battled this for quite sometime- and most likely will continue being treated the way that I am treated by these people.. the only difference is- I have FINALLY forgiven them and am prepared to move on from it!

But getting to this point wasn't easy! It finally came down to me (literally) crying out to God for help. How can He forgive me of everything I have done.. if I can't even forgive others for the things that they have done?

If I want to be more like Jesus- then I better start walking the walk!

Then- like water washing over me- I no longer felt hard feelings. I felt love. I felt forgiveness.

Praise God!

The Third Day song "Mountain of God" just came to mind. "Even though the journey's long and I know the road is hard. You're the one who's gone before me, you will help me carry on.."

Another realization came to mind today as my friends and I traveled down hwy 110 between Tyler and Van. We were driving past Dover Baptist Church (one of the Churches that was tragically torched last year) and it really got me to thinking. At first, I had the usual angry thought "ugh, how could somebody do this!?" and I started thinking of all of the hateful things that I read on "Christian" blogs that Jesus' people were saying about those boys.. and how I, too, once thought the same things. But not today. Week 1- Day 3 in "Breaking Free" came to my mind- about King Ahaz and his awful, wicked reign. And How God wanted to show him proof.. God wanted King Ahaz to accept him and be saved.. even after all of the horrible things that King Ahaz did.. God still loved him and wanted to help him! And that got me thinking about those boys who were burning all of those churches down.  God DOES love them.. and he WANTS them to know him.
(1 Timothy 2:4)

I haven't heard anything lately about those boys.. but tonight I pray for them that they accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior and ask for his cleansing of their sins.

Thank You, Father, for opening my eyes and heart so that I can see people the way you do! Amen!